Oh How He Loves Us

Though it is not without its challenges, motherhood is one of the biggest joys in my life. For the past eighteen months, the Lord has revealed Himself to me along this journey in ways that speak directly to my heart. I love how He loves us and chooses to know each one of us intimately. He is so patient and loving with us, and He is always looking for ways to speak to us in ways that we can grasp. In the process of learning how to be a Godly parent (and I have so far to go), I am falling even more in love with the one and only God who is the ultimate Parent.

One of the first truths that the Lord revealed to me came very early on in Jackson's life. I was thinking about the exhausting task of caring for another life all day long. I pondered how I'm never really apart from Jackson even though physically we may be separated. He is always in my thoughts. I think about his well being. I think about his safety. I wonder if he's having a good time wherever he is. I wonder if he knows how much Kyle and I love him. I wonder if he knows how much he teaches me. He's always on my mind. I thought about these things and how as Jackson's mom, I'm always aware of where he is and I would never leave him alone. All of this led me to think about how as much as I care about my son and his well being; my Father loves and cares about me even more. He would never, ever leave me alone. Nothing that happens in my day catches Him by surprise, either. I am always on His mind, and He cares about every part of my day even more than I am capable of caring for my son. With the ultimate Parent working over time to meet my every need, why should I worry? That is truth that I can rest in. My mind, body, and soul can be at peace when I stop and consider that the One who has the whole world in His hands is watching over me.

The other day as I was doing the exciting chore of vacuuming (which actually IS kind of exciting since my son happens to think it's the most hilarious thing in the world); I was thinking about the absolute biggest thing anyone can do to make me happy. Apparently, all you have to do is compliment my child. It makes my heart leap, and I get a huge gulp in my throat and can hardly contain my excitement. The other day, Jackson's MDO teachers told me how he dipped his paintbrush in the paint so well. They then asked if I painted with him at home because he does it so well! I felt like I had really accomplished something. Do you know I had this ridiculous smile on my face all the way to my car?? I thought...wow...so THIS is the way to a mother's heart. If I want to show love to a mother, I need to compliment her children!!! And THEN I thought...since I am made in GOD'S IMAGE, then maybe...just maybe...loving HIS CHILDREN would make Him happy. After all, he does command us to love one another. I KNOW this. This was not a new revelation to me, but thinking about other people as children of God puts things in a whole new light for me. I am broken hearted at the thought of my son being sad. I hate to know that I've broken the heart of the Father by hurting one of His children. If I want to please the Father, I have GOT to love His children.

Today, as Jackson and I were driving home from the gym, he started to fuss and I really wasn't sure why...other than it was his nap time, which is reason enough I guess. At first I tried to talk to him. I laughed at myself trying to talk an eighteen month old into being happy. Then, I decided singing would be a better option. I'm so glad I grew up in a home where music was very important. It sure can heal the heart. I turned off the radio and told Jackson that when we are sad, we should think about how Jesus loves us. I started singing the song, and he started singing along in his own little way. As we sang, I thought about how much He really does love us. When I think about how He loves ME in spite of my disobedience, in spite of my temper tantrums, in spite of my filthy heart, I am able to love my child with the kind of love that Christ has for us. It's the kind that we could never earn or deserve. As Jackson's mom, I am teaching him how to handle his emotions by showing him how I handle mine. Whether or not I like it, he's watching. If I can show him that when I am upset, I can stop and think about how much Jesus loves me, I will be preparing him for a life of happiness. You see, happiness doesn't mean that you have the best of circumstances. It just means that you are able to give praise no matter what and to hold to the truth that Jesus loves you. And boy does He love us.