It's been one of those weeks around here...one of those weeks, where, if I'm being honest, I'll tell you that I've been "over" my job as "Mom" on more than one occasion. Of course I know how to remember that I'm blessed even during the most difficult times, but this week, it was reallllly hard to be more joyful than annoyed. I will also tell you that it wasn't any one thing that happened. It was just exhausting on many levels. All the little things became big things. I felt overwhelmed, frustrated, selfish (someone take care of ME because I'm tired of tending to everyone else), weak, short-tempered, etc. Kyle tried his best to give me relief, but he had a hectic week at work which resulted in him putting in about 80 hours (including working through the night a few of the nights), and I didn't want to make his burden even heavier. He's such an amazing support, and I'm so thankful for his level of involvement in this parenting thing and for the way he literally holds me up.
I don't really make a habit of talking about the stressful moments of being a mom because honestly, they usually are a distant memory before you have the chance to tell someone (other than poor Kyle who hears it all.) This week, though, I needed to hear some encouragement from other moms. I needed to hear that it would get easier or that there was something I could do to make the particular frustrations I was facing go away.
I decided to speak out [to some of the other moms] about the week we were having as we were waiting to pick up our kids from school one day. I heard "Oh just wait [until your kids are older]" and "Oh, you haven't seen anything yet" among other discouraging pieces of "news". Hmmmm. Not what I was hoping to hear. I wasn't looking for anyone to solve my problems, but I was definitely searching for some encouragement since I know these moms have older children and have "been there done that."
I just started thinking about how we moms can either speak "life" to each other, or we can speak complete and utter discouragement (death). What good will come from telling someone who is already discouraged to "just wait" because it will only get worse? I refuse to believe that. I refuse to view the upcoming stages in that way. I don't think it's the mindset God intends for us to have as parents.
I am not at all implying that these moms did something that day that I have never done, and I'm not blaming them for my own discouragement. It is all too easy to try to make someone feel better by making them feel like where they are is easier. I get that. We really need to try harder to not do the "easy" thing and see the heart behind the mom who's crying out for help. Maybe then we could be more intentional about encouraging one another.
"Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person." - Colossians 4:6
I want to try harder to have gracious speech so that I can be an encouragement rather than a discouragement to my friends or people I encounter. This is a hard job we are doing, and we really ought to lift each other up as much as we can. That is not just true of moms. Life is challenging no matter what your job or role in the family may be.
As for me and my "slump", I know what I need to do to snap out of it. Count my blessings, do something for someone else (the best thing my mom ever taught me), read words of "life" (from the life-giver Himself"), and pray for God to give me the wisdom I need to tackle the current challenges I'm facing with love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness and self-control. I have not been exhibiting those fruits of the spirit this week, so I think the work begins in ME. Instead of praying everyone around me will change, I think it's time for me to change.
God is good, and He is faithful. That I know to be true. I also know that every challenging stage with children is temporary. This too shall pass. Sure, it might be replaced with a new challenge, but it will pass. Haha. :)
Much Love & Sprinkles of Salt,
Lindz
4 comments:
I feel like you many times. With working full time and coaching and then Nick working ridiculous hours during the week and some weekends I'm exhausted and don't feel like I can give my children 110% which then frustrates me. I've learned to just press forward and keep reminding me that every little moment counts so I need to learn to be more patient and nurturing instead of throwing a pity party. You can do it!!!
Lindsay,
I so love your heart in this post. I don't know why Moms are frequently discouragers to one another, but it seems we are. And I am sorry you did not have words of life spoken into your hard days this week.
My experience as a Mom of now all grown up kids is that each stage/season of child raising has it's hard challenges and each stage /season has it's very unique joys. Some may be easier than others, some may be harder. Some are more physically demanding than others, some are way more emotionally demanding. But for me, looking at it from my perspective on this side, it all balances out. The joy at least equals the hard and most times trumps it. And honestly, it's in those hard times that God really does become more real to us. He gets us through.
One thing that helped me was realizing that it was OK to not totally love my chosen career of stay at home Mom sometimes. In reality, is there anyone who loves their job totally every day, week after week, year after year? I seriously doubt it! So I quit beating myself up when I felt I was ready to cash in my mommy chips!
I really hated when older Moms told me that my kids would grow up quickly. Last thing I wanted to hear while I was knee deep in runny noses and dirty diapers etc. But, it is true.I would encourage you to laugh as much as you can, say yes rather than no as much as you can, be silly a lot, pray for wisdom and strength, and enjoy the ride as much as you can. And on those days that enjoyment is impossible, know that God's mercies really are new every morning for you, and try to get a good night's sleep!
Love you. You are a great Mom.
Mrs Ehrhardt
Love this post and love Leigh's response! I definitely agree with doing something for someone else...always raises my spirits!
Thanks for this post Lindsay, and I love all the comments too! I needed to hear all of this today.
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